Friday, April 23, 2010

I've just found the most lovely blog ever.
I absolutely love it.


I just got a message from a friend that I had a sort of, falling out with, shall we say.
Just to ask how I was and that he hopes everything is going well for me. :)
It made me smile because it's nice to know he still cares. :)
It reminds me of this:

'People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they go right. And sometimes, good things fall apart so better things can fall together.'


I decided to go to sleep early last night for once as I had to get up early. This is what happened..

1.10am* 1.25* 1.30* I can't get comfortable.
1.50* 2.10* It's too hot, so I take off the blanket.
2.22* Now i'm too cold, so I put it back on.
2.35* Sirens.
2.47* I.can't.stop.thinking.
3.05* 3.15* FFS Stop thinking!
3.30* I get my Ipod and put on the loudest heaviest song I have, turn it to full volume and press repeat. It works briefly. The crashing of the drums and the sceaming vocals take up everything so there's no room left to think. I'm still awake though.. =\
3.59* I am exhausted. All I want to do is sleep. I don't want to dream, I don't want to think. Just sleep. I need to relax. I can't relax. I'm too stressed. I need sleep, I have work in the morning. I start crying. Because I need to and because maybe i'll just cry myself to sleep..
4.30am* Well, it didn't work. I'm still awake. Fuck.
4.46am* Finally manage to fall asleep somewhere around here.

So yeah that was my awesome night.

I ran out of strawberry jam this morning so this afternoon after my interview had finished I bought a new jar. Got home put it in the fridge. Couple hours later and I go to make a jam sandwich. I can't get the lid off the jar. There's no one home. As i'm struggling to get the stupid lid off It slips out of my hand and lands hard on my right foot smashing everywhere and cuts my foot. :( Hurt like a fucking bitch. So now I have a stupid big cut on my foot. And no jam :(

Oh. I got the job at maccas but I won't start til week after next. So i'm stuck at Hj's til then.

I don't think I can do this. I think it's all just a bit too much.
I want to go back to living with my dad and not having to worry about how i'm going to pay the rent next week.
And I want to go back to sleeping in my own bed in my old room.
And not having to hear sirens 3 times a night.
And I want to go back to when my biggest problem was what to watch on tv..
I don't want to grow up..
I'm not ready to be an adult yet. :(

I need Pride and Prejudice right now.